Joan O'Connor

Joan O’Connor of Manahawkin, NJ, passed away in the early morning of April 4th, 2024 after a long, but courageous struggle at the age of 85. She was visited often throughout the many months of her illnesses by those that loved her and was blessedly surrounded in her last moments by those closest to her.  She will be missed terribly by us all.

She was born to Robert and Hazel McLaughlin on November 12th,1938 in the Bronx, NY as the Great Depression was ending and World War II beginning. As a product of those two cataclysms, she grew up to be a strong, beautiful and often resilient woman, but also one with a great sense of humor, innate intelligence, and strength of character. She met the love of her life while still a child, married him at the tender age of 19, and went on to have a 66 year marriage, that was as romantic, caring and loving on the last day as it was on the first. 

Joan married her one true love, William B. “Okie” O’Connor,  on October 12, 1957, and in short order bore him 5 children, a few described as not really planned as such. William Jr. was the first in 1958. Him and his wife Maureen have 4 children: Kathleen, Shannon, Michael and Timothy, who is married to Julie Fields and have a child of their own, Leo. William Jr. was followed by Kathleen, married to Scott Riley and their children are Brendan and Alexandra Riley and Matthew and Chelsea Riley, who have a beautiful daughter named Zoey. Nancy was Joan and William’s second daughter. She has a daughter Nicole DeLuise from her first marriage, who is married to Brian Rodriguez, and they have a daughter named Penelope. Nancy married Robert Leopold and they have a son, Robert, engaged to be married to Morgan Guarino. James was the fourth in line and he has two children named Thomas and Brenna. Finally, Kevin was born in 1963 (5 children in just 5 1/2 years for those keeping count). Him and his wife Erin have a son Kieren Casey, who is married to Lauren Wolfe, and another son named Sean. Joan is also survived by one sister, Patricia Rappleye of Utah. Besides this great menagerie, Joan leaves behind nieces and nephews and a great many friends. 

Joan truly loved her children and grandchildren. In the end, I think her great-grandchildren (Leo, Zoey and Penelope) fueled her will to go on, even in great pain. 

The young couple bought the tiniest of cape cods in Dumont, Nj as the children began to grow. Throughout her life there, Joan persued knowledge through books and was an avid reader of the Sunday Times. She was a follower of current events, remained economically fashionable, and was often on the cutting edge of social issues, such as feminism, much to the detriment of her young sons, who had been happily doing the “boy” jobs until women’s lib entered the vocabulary and were suddenly doing the dishes and their own laundry, in addition to the “boys” jobs. Joan also retired from holiday meals when her husband retired from the Ironworkers’ union. She figured she had done enough and she was right. She was a lifelong Democrat married to a  conservative Republican, but somehow they made it work. She also did many a cross stitch, tended her gardens, and fervently loved free Ireland. Following their retirement, Joan and Okie traveled the world extensively, realizing late in life that sangria is quite tasty.

Sadly, but not tragically, her life ended this morning. She was a fine woman and a terrific mother. I can think of no greater praise for any person. She lived life to the fullest, laughed and cried too, but she was always well loved by her husband, adored by her children and doted upon by her grandchildren unto her last breath. We all should be so lucky.

Visitation will be held on Monday, April 8, 2024 from 5 to 8 PM at Barnegat Funeral Home, 841 West Bay Ave., Barnegat, NJ. Mass offered Tuesday, 11:00 AM at St. Mary Of The Pines Church, Manahawkin. Private Cremation to follow. (www.BarnegatFH.com)

In lieu of flowers, donations to the Juvenile Diabetes foundation is greatly appreciated. (see link below)

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